may 2

I have only left the country once. I was 11 and it was to Vancouver, Canada to retrieve a drill rig with my dad. And then we drove it back home. I wore the same denim blazer the entire trip, we spent one memorable afternoon tracking down the very last installment of the Series of Unfortunate Events, and afterwards, I decided I wanted to be a trucker (for all of ten days). It was all very glamorous.
I'm only telling you this to distract myself because if left to my own devices, I just ruminate on the fact that I leave for London on Friday, which causes me shortness of breath. And sweating. And a compulsion to reorganize my suitcase.
Obviously I'm the last person who should be dolling out travel advice, but as I've said, I need distraction, so on the off-chance you'd like the wisdom of one sweaty, twitchy new twenty-year-old, here's what I've learned so far:
DANI'S TIPS FOR SUCESS AND TEH WIN WHILE TRAVELING ABROAD

1) Make your mom call the debit card company for you (so you don't have to talk on the phone AND you can eat tacos while she makes frantic hand motions for When was your latest deposit? WHEN WAS YOUR LATEST DEPOSIT!? Dinner, absence of social interaction, and a show! Win, win win!).

2) Instead of packing a bunch of shirts, pack a bunch of scarves! Lightweight, stylish, and can be used to cover food stains. Can also be used as a sling in a pinch.

3) Print off important documents like your insurance card and copies of your passport on your own printer while still at school, so you're not pressed for time at the last minute.

4) Blow off previous advice and go straight to number 5

5) Yell "SOMEONE HAD BETTER GET ME A TACO OR NEW INK RIGHT NOW BEFORE I LOSE IT" at your family. You'll see results fast!

6) To make sure you know what you're getting into culinary-wise on your adventure, beef up (LOLZ, "beef" up!) on what the locals eat. If you too are traveling to the UK, I recommend watching a program on late-night Cooking network about two obese and elderly English women who show you how to make traditional English meals. And by "traditional English meals," I mean "food that will have you sobbing quietly onto the throw pillows, muttering 'Why?' 'WHY ME?'" I may survive on tea and take-away.

7) Learn about all the hip slang from the country you'll be visiting and sneak it into everyday conversation until your friends and family are throughly fed-up, the dodgy buggers.

Join us next time for DANI'S TIPS FOR SUCESS AND TEH WIN FOR SURVIVING A FULL DAY OF AIRPORTS AND PLANES!